Saturday, October 25, 2014

As Seen On TV: Weight Loss, Dr. Oz and Tarot cards

Now that the cat is out of the bag about Dr. Oz and his diet "miracles" millions of us will be wondering how to lose weight.

I embarrassingly confess that I tried 3 miracles touted by Dr. Oz.  The first was Raspberry Ketones.  Before starting the "diet", I pulled 3 cards from my favorite Tarot deck.  I don't remember the exact cards, but I do remember what they said.  A change was needed, my diet needed to be improved to bring about better health.  This sounded strangely like I was going to need a diet.  I hate that word!!  It is difficult to read your own Tarot cards.  My rational side said a healthy diet and exercise will work.  My stupid side said the pills with no changes in diet will work.  I was leaning towards the pills.

A call to my friend Jess will clear all this up in no time.  Jess is also a Psychic.  I tell her that I am going to try a new diet.  I make no mention of Dr. Oz.  I was too embarrassed.  I said I just want to know if it will work. Will I lose any weight.  Jess tells me that I have to cut back on sugars and eat healthier. ( this sounds like my cards)  Jess continues... the outcome is totally up to you.  Now I know rationally that taking a pill will not fix this, but I try anyway.  Three weeks later, nothing happened.

I went through this routine 2 more times with Green Coffee Bean Extract and Garcinia Cambogia.  Jess is a true friend.  She never told me I was an idiot, but then I never told her I was using "miracle pills".

Then this past Summer the miracle happened.  I got a call from my friend Elaine.  We decided to get together.  We hadn't seen each other in a while.  Elaine is an Astrologer.  When we get together we read each others cards and Elaine fills me in on all things Astrological.  When the weekend rolled around I drove to Elaine's.  When I pulled up there was a woman standing in the driveway.  I didn't recognize her at first.  It was Elaine!  At least 30 pounds lighter.  My first thought was what pill is she taking?  Why didn't she let me know the secret?  It turns out she had let me know.  Every time we talked, Elaine told me she had cut back on fat and was eating healthier.  No starvation, no cleansing and still drinks wine!

Now I was really inspired.  I went home that afternoon with a new resolve to change my diet.  I did a combination of low carb and portion control washed down with a glass of Tarot Grenache wine.  I saw Elaine a week later.  I asked her if I was going to lose weight on my new diet.  I was afraid to read my own cards on this.  Elaine shuffled the deck and pulled out the Five of Pentacles.  My heart sank.  This is one of the most depressing cards in the deck.  All I could see was self doubt, problems, troubles, loss.  Then it hit me.  I was looking at the card to deeply.  The 5 of Pentacles can simply mean : you are about to experience loss!  Once again the cards were right.  I have lost 11 pounds.  I think I will start walking again and lose more weight.  The outcome is up to me.

Forget about all the bogus Dr. Oz diets.  Cut back on your carbs and fats. Indulge once in a while and still enjoy a glass of Tarot Grenache wine.  The pounds will melt away.


  1. This was just what I needed to hear as i was just sitting here praying for a miracle of 25lbs lighter.

  2. Mary, you are my Hero! You do marathons. You can do this!